am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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