We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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