Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
