Your mouth is God's brothel.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
