Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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