when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
