Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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