my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
