I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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