i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it's like heaven, but drunker
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
