just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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