And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
