last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
