Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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