You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
