So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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