Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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