I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
