Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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