I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
