After last night, I could never be a politician.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
