bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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