whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
