I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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