i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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