I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
