both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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