WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
that may or may not have been my penis.
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