she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
