so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
