how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize