wanna go halves on a baby?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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