and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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