Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
