Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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