try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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