she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
