what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
