My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
