stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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