Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
