and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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