so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
