i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
