Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Less talking, more tequila
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
