I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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