I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
