I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
