seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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