Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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