Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
