She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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