She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i will never coherently bang her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
