Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
