I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
