brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if only i could text you this smell
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
