based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just google imaged poop.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This baby is an asshole
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
