I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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