If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
