my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
