there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize