2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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