If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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