you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
