Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
