I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
