Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
